Friday, March 26, 2010

A satricial essay

After receiving a link to Paul Krugman's recent OpEd piece "Going to Extreme" I wrote up this satirical response:

What does some Nobel Peace Prize winning economist writing for some liberal rag know about A-mur-ik-a? Nothin'. Just like a liberal to take a handout from a foreign country, cuz he hates the USofA!

Glenn Beck is a man of the people, even if he is Mormon, and he told me that the Democrats are tyrannical-socialist-
communist-Nazi monsters that are going to send me to death panels while they practice witchcraft and drink the blood of all the babies they kill every year. A man of the people wouldn't lie, only weak-willed closet Muslim-socialists and gays lie; only people that go to churches that preach social-justice lie. Jesus hated social justice, but you know who loved it? Hitler, Stalin, and Mao! All loved social justice and all evil - how do you know? Because they didn't wear an American flag pin, that's how.

Besides, Fox News interviewed 4 old people and they didn't want the new health care bill to pass, that's a 100% disapproval rating!! 100>50 and I know that's true because I saw it written on Sarah Palin's hand! You just don't like the cross-hairs of justice aimed at you because you want to take away our right to bear arms; placing gun-related markers on the office of public-elected officials in retaliation for passing legislation through legal means is not provoking violence, it's standing up for our God-given right to blow a 6-inch diameter hole into whatever animal or minority we see trespassing on our lawn! Just like you yellow-belly liberals to try to take away my guns.

I don't care if Dwight Eisenhower, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln wouldn't recognize their own party anymore. We don't need them. We have Pat Robertson, Baby Jesus, and Rush Limbaugh! Real American Heroes!

Now if you'll 'scuse me Pinko, while I go drink my tea 'cuz I'm a Tea Bagger a.k.a. I love everything about America except what I disagree with a.k.a. a true Patriot; even if the lefty conspiracy writers say the original Boston Tea Party used the tea as a symbol of tyranny and anti-democratic ideals from England that needed to be destroyed to send a message that we prefer freedom.

But I don't believe that bull-honky for one minute because in Texas, all we did was learn about how the Founding Fathers were God-fearing Conservative Christians- that's what a masonic Deist means, right? - that loved Ronald Regan and startin' wars and hated free-thinking and progressive ideas.