TGIFF

It's not uncommon to stumble across articles ranging from lovable and quirky to downright bizarre during the week. TGIFF - Thank Geebus, It's Freakin' Friday - is an amalgamation of short blurbs dedicated to the oddities I stumbled across during the week.

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Biblical Action Figures

According to this article, beginning in just a few short weeks Wal-mart will carry a full line of faith-based action figures. Of course, by "faith-based" they mean Christian. Soon your child or young relative can throw away He-Man and replace him with Sampson or Goliath. My favorite part of the whole idea is that these toys are supposed to represent "God honoring toys" based on "Christian morality." [Which is probably why no David toy was mentioned, he wasn't the most moral of men] I'm sure when little Paul James Wellington III sits down to play with his toys he'll be thinking about God's providence or benevolence.

Tales of Glory toys are meant to provide the moral and loving alternative to the "toys and dolls that promote and glorify evil, destruction, lying [and] cheating." If these toys promote positive Christian values, then this can only mean that Goliath is provided as a toy for the sole purpose of being struck down as contrary to God's divine plan... nice, a promotion of intolerance and hate. But at least it's not promoting evil, destruction, lying or cheating, right?


The Ol' Monkey Out of a Hat Trick

A man on his way to New York from Peru surprised fellow flyers when a small marmoset appeared from under his hat. According to the article, the monkey was well-behaved during the flight after he vacated the man's hat. I wonder if the monkey had to wear a seat belt?

I feel bad for the monkey. It had to ride under a hat, then had to put up with crying babies and other airplane nuisances, then gets taken, put in a cage, subjected to tests, gets quarantined for a month, and will most likely end up in a zoo. If the monkey can handle a FL to NY flight without causing problems I say he should get his own place or go home with the guy. I mean that's better than most children.


A real-life Homer Simpson, almost

A German woman's personal trauma mimics that of cartoon character Homer Simpson. The 59-year old recently had a pencil removed from her brain after 55 years. Simpsons viewers will remember that Homer Simpson is the simpleton that he is because of a crayon stuffed into his brain.

The women had headaches and couldn't smell for 55 years. A part of the pencil couldn't be removed as it was too deep and surgery would be too dangerous. Evidently, her parents should have told her not to run with a pencil in her hand.


Killer Mahjong

Hong Kong doctors warn that the tile game Mahjong could be deadly. 23 people have had "Mahjong-induced seizures." The ailment is not just afflicting players either, the doctors say that watching the face paced game can also lead to seizures.

The design, sounds, and cognitive actions of the game can cause a seizure anywhere from one to eleven hours into a game for player or viewers. The only known cure for Mahjong-induced seizures? Don't play Mahjong.


How did you want your penis cooked?

Never had canine penis or bull perineum? Your only a plane ticket away from these delicacies. The Guolizhuang restaurant boasts itself as China's only speciality penis emporium.

The article speaks for itself. It is both slightly stomach churning and intriguing at the same time. I will warn you that there are pictures of penile dishes, so if you cannot handle seeing such things you may not want to click on the link.


Bad, Kitty, Bad

Bangkok police chiefs have decided to deter their police officers bad habits through shame. If an officer is found to have commited minor transgressions, they will be forced to wear a pink Hello Kitty armband for several days as punishment.

The officers will not only be forced to wear the armband of shame, they are also prohibited from telling their fellow officers what policy they violated. Did Bob come to work late or did he fail to timestamp his police report? Ooo the suspense and the shame of it all! Officers that are repeat offenders will be dealt with following more standard protocol as opposed to be forced to carry the Hello Kitty lunchbox, backpack, and cell phone clip while on the beat.