Fartleks: March 2009

The Director's Cut commentary track on the most memorable Tweets of the month:

schuettn: Living in the Midwest is like being in an abusive relationship with Mother Nature. Today she's saying she's "sorry & has changed."
(Being a Midwestern means waking up to 60 degree weather and going to bed with 30 degree ice storms. Mother Nature is a real bitch, and she knows it.)

schuettn: With such a deep fantasy baseball league, my draft strategy is going to like Hamas: pull the trigger and hope I hit something of substance.
(Appropriate? No. But it did aptly describe my fantasy draft strategy. The season starts this weekend!)

schuettn: I love Monday crosswords; it always makes me feel smart.
(Unfortunately, yesterday, my intellect was weighed, measured, and found wanting by the crossword.)

schuettn: Smoke rings are a simple pleasure in life.
(It's small victories for me. Hookah smoking is a guilty pleasure.)

escapepirate: Bizarro SAMSON. (So I'm not all that versed in biblical spelling...)
(Instant Classic)

escapepirate: Not good with small talk, or chit-chatting. My responses: "uh huh" and "yep."
(It's funny because it's true.)

Inksmith: Evidently Rudy Giuliani was mayor of New York on 9/11! Who knew? He should have mentioned that in his campaign.
(It's funny because it's not true.)

Inksmith: See ya, Coach K. Don't let the door hit you in the nose, you arrogant tool. You and your spoon-chested cracker-assed team.
(I also twatted/tweexed on this subject, but this was more apropos. Coach K felt the need to criticize Obama for filling out a bracket; perhaps he was just sore the President picked UNC? It seems with good cause.)

Inksmith: Snow, why are you here? Go somewhere else. Mother nature, youre a worthless cunt.
(Great minds think a like; idiots never disagree. The moral? Mother nature is bi-polar)

schuettn: Feeling refreshed like an Irish Spring; oh wait I use Dove...Feeling freshed like I was just released from an animal-filled ark
(I thought it was witty. Besides, mixing modern commercials with the Bible is fun for all ages!)

warrenellis: good morning sinners
(Funny because it's true, part II)

schuettn: Doing my best to save the economy one take-out meal at a time.
(Exotic India is very tasty. Unfortunately, my economic bailout plan will also lead to me needing an aortic bailout eventually.)

escapepirate: In the mood to fight futuristic robots with a hammer while the fate of humanity hangs in the balance.
(I don't ask... I just chuckle.)


**Yes, I know I am copying Escape Pirate's "Escaping Thoughts" with this segment but at least it will keep me posting here**